Not Sparing Dharma Assets
Every other month at the SZC, we replace Wednesday night's usual two hours of zazen with a single period, followed by a short full moon and precept recitation ceremony, and an hour’s discussion on one of the precepts. Last Wednesday we discussed "Not Sparing Dharma Assets" and as Jiki, I was to start the sharing. Knowing this in advanced, I did some study on the topic, reading the relevant chapters of The Mind of Clover by Aitken Roshi, The Heart of Being by Daido Loori and Being Upright by Reb Anderson.
The first thing that stood out to me was that all three teachers mentioned something about being yourself. Reb Anderson talks about being who you are "so completely, fully, joyfully, enthusiastically, kindly and compassionately, that others see and feel it and are inspired and encouraged to be fully themselves as well." He goes on to say that by giving yourself to others in this way, you give others to themselves too. Aitken Roshi isn't so overt about this point, but mentions that "each individual comes forth as the Tathagata, coming forth as its own being, with nothing identical to it anywhere at any time" and in doing so "teaching and relinquishing everything." Daido Loori talks about having no choice but to give, and that "just being there" is often the best way to fulfil this precept.
Following on from that, I was struck by a sentence in Being Upright where Reb Anderson says that this precept isn't about "repressing stinginess but about active expression." Expression is something that I've been obsessing over recently, which might seem absurd when Daido Loori says how it is "ridiculous to even attempt to be withholding." And it's true. We can't help but express our self, our every action and inaction speaks volumes, and yet I so often feel unable to properly express myself. Aitken Roshi talks about "a tomato plant adding itself to the soil for the sake of other tomato plants" and suggests we act "with no more self-consciousness than the tomato plant." How often do we allow ourselves that kind of expression? I for one find it difficult to allow myself such freedom, my 'expression' filtered by own small-self-consciousness, if it gets out at all. In this way I break this precept every day.
But I labour onwards, oftentimes thanks to a question I first heard from Paul Haller, "What does practice ask of me?" Reb Anderson suggests in every situation, in each moment, to ask "what is being asked of me?" This precept seems to be encouraging you not only to ask this question moment to moment, but to respond with the self-consciousness of Aitken Roshi's tomato plant.
Finally, there are the clouds. Not mentioned specifically by Aitken Roshi, Daido Loori or Reb Anderson, but in a kids book that my partner Mel reads to her children at work. The book, called Peaceful Piggy, recommends a mindfulness exercise that, if practiced, will have you paying attention to clouds that "tell stories just for you." I think of my own early morning mindfulness practice, zazen on my cushion, and think of the many times I've bowed in grateful thanks to the birds, planes, cars and trains that have told stories just for me. I really do wonder sometimes, am I the only one paying attention? My small egotistical enquiries aside, all three teachers suggest that simply by being present, you are keeping this precept. Aitken Roshi ends his Teisho on "Not Sparing Dharma Assets" by saying "Return to Mu, and your act of lifting your spoon to your mouth will be a fulfillment of this precept."
Of course, this precept is about much more than just these points, but for me right now, this is what stood out as significant.
No comments:
Post a Comment