Being Jiki, Being Inspired
A few months ago I did some Jiki and Jisha training, and put myself down to serve in both roles on various occasions since. I didn't see Jisha as much of a problem, but Jiki seemed like quite a responsibility. I was particularly uncertain about 'playing' the han, and was convinced I'd mix up the various signals and intervals that indicate the start of a period of zazen or kinhin.
Luckily, whilst at an intimate samu retreat, I was asked to be Jiki. This gave me the opportunity to make mistakes in front of a few less people than generally attend a regular Wednesday night sitting. And I did make a few mistakes, but they were kindly pointed out when I asked my teacher how I was doing as a brand new Jiki.
By far my favorite thing about being Jiki is the privilege of sitting facing in. Although it takes some getting used to, it's quite inspiring to notice people sitting so intently. Whilst I have no idea what's going on inside their head, their uprightness, composure and dedication in the face of discomfort and often pain, even if only on a physical level, is enough to reinvigorate my own practice.
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